My Own Private Ulysses: Doctor Reality’s Prudent Advice

Doctor Reality’s prudent advice:                       

Your goal is to be banned from everywhere!            

But I write light verse, I try to be nice.            

Not dark like Ginsberg’s Howl. I wouldn’t dare.       

You fool! Art is war. It’s time to attack.            

But I want to be liked and included.                  

By this modern-day Virginia Woolf pack?               

You’re a damn Joyce-head. Don’t be deluded!           

But I wish to be published. I’m past due.             

Ha! They bark in public, but in their heart,          

They whimper and whine with envy of you.              

Like Ginny did Joyce, they’ll tear you apart.         

But I wonder, where’s my Sylvia Beach?           

Dude! You’re already screwed, just make them screech.

Stay tuned for more simpering sonnets.

Same self-pitying time, same self-esteemless channel.

My Own Private Ulysses: More Logic of the Litany

Bloom’s Sweets of Sin contain the erection            

Of Wandering Rock’s great bridges and bridge          

Both halves of His episode collection.                

Then Music without Words, Sirens abridge.             

Cyclops, His myope foe, Bloom filled with woe.        

Reprover of the Citizen, indeed!                       

But Our Friend of the Frillies failed to sew          

In Nausicaa, and only spilled His seed.

Bloom’s seminal role in Oxen of the Sun is not vague, 

Midwife Most Merciful serves seeds that sprout.       

Potato Preservative against Plague                    

and Pestilence prevents Circe’s pig snout.            

O this prayer by the Daughters of Erin,          

Blesses the fruit of Bloom’s womb unbarren.

Stay tuned for more spermatozoon sonnets.

Same fruitful time, same fertile channel.

My Own Private Ulysses: The Logic of the Litany

Our Odyssey starts with Kidney of Bloom,              

Its Calypso bond’s easy to notice.               

Then with Flower of the Bath we consume

Sleepy smells in the Eaters of Lotus.                  

Mentor of Menton harkens to Hades,                    

Where Bloom defeats a dinge-hatted demon.

Even though Aeolus does lack ladies,                  

Our Lord’s a Canvasser of the Freeman.                

Who’s He who walks Lestrygonians’ land?

Charitable Mason, says Nosey Flynn.

Wandering Soap seems lost in Scylla &

Charybdis, but shall be found deep within.

This Litany of the Blessed Bloom connects,       

With all His episodes’ divine aspects.

Stay tuned for more sacred sonnets.

Same sublime time, same sanctified channel.