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Robert

Roman

Empire

RED BRICK ALLEY STORIES

The Killards Are Coming

Every damn day in Religion Class, Sister Anna Banana yapped about the Soviets revving up to start a nuclear war with the new president, Ronald Reagan. She said after the cities burned to Holy Hell, there’d be something called “nuclear winter” that would kill all... 

Double-Strength Demon Dogs

Fantastic Freddie was the only altar boy from the Red Brick Alley. He was always consecrating Ritz Crackers and trying to make us eat them like communion wafers. He light-fingered incense from the sacristy, and he blessed water from Old Lady Tully’s spigot...

Laser Loop

I couldn’t see over the tall green school bus seat except when we hit a pothole and I bounced up in the air like a Pop-Tart jumping out of a toaster. Nobody at Saint Augie’s could believe I was allowed to go. My first school picnic ever. I was good from the day I handed in my pink...

The Boy Wonder

How the Hell did Jaggerbush get himself up there? He was clawing his way up into the open window above the Science class door like a real-life gargoyle. The blockhead of a wooden mallet stuck out of the back of his Toughskins where his butt crack was. He wore three...

About The Author

Rob.jpg

Robert Roman grew up in Pittsburgh, PA, where he sold newspapers to cars from a concrete island. Read more→

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Robert Roman

The Boy Wonder

- Short Story from The Red Brick Alley

How the Hell did Jaggerbush get himself up there? He was clawing his way up into the open window above the Science class door like a real-life gargoyle. The blockhead of a wooden mallet stuck out of the back of his Toughskins where his butt crack was. He wore three sets of the scuba mask goggles they made you wear to keep your eyeballs from boiling out of your skull in case there was an explosion in class. He wore one over his eyes like a normal human being and one around his neck and one on top of his head so his brown hair stuck up all around it like weeds in the cracks of the sidewalks. Just one of anything was never enough for my little brother. I didn't know what he was up to; he never revealed his secret plans to anybody, not even me. He just hatched them. Then I'd have to swoop in to the rescue, as usual. Jaggerbush slithered through the window and was gone. I stood guard under the window waiting to catch him in case he fell during his escape. That's what brothers were for.

"Hey, Ringer!"

Who was yelling my name now?



Read the rest at Eclecta Magazine here.

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